A Mother's Thoughts (long, sorry) + Pictures

Yesterday was quite an emotional day. The girls needed to get their bilirubin levels rechecked so we went back and they got their blood drawn. I always thought it was so silly when mothers would tell me they would cry when their new babies got shots. Of course it is for their own good and only stings for a few seconds. Well, their little feet were pricked and when they started crying I totally started crying and couldn't stop. (I hadn't cried since the delivery on Tuesday) My heart hurt so bad for them and I wanted to do everything I could to stop their pain. Then I got thinking about how much pain and hurt they will go through in this life and how I won't be able to prevent it. I know it's all part of the Heavenly Father's plan but they are just these sweet innocent angels and it kills me to think about anything hard coming to them. Then I started thinking about how sad it was that they were already that old! I was expecting preemies and their newborn clothes are not going to fit for very long. I absolutely love this stage and just want to hold them and love them 24/7.

Anyways, as you can tell, I was an emotional wreck. We called back two hours later to get the results and their levels were bad enough we needed to get them under the lights. Luckily they have home light systems so we got them and didn't have to take the girls back to the hospital. However, when the guy came to set them up, and told us we needed to leave them under the lights except for feedings and changing their diapers, it was extremely hard. We put their little eye masks on and set them under. Avery was okay, but Adelyn started to cry with a little whimper like she was hurt that we hadn't ever heard before (usually she just starts full volume). Once again, my heart felt like it would break. Of course we couldn't just get them out and hold them because the more they are under the lights the better. I finally left the room and had Tia calm them down. Later that night after Adelyn had eaten and it was time to go back under the light, Tia gave Adelyn a blessing and put her eye thing on and put her back under and she didn't make a peep. Truly a miracle and a huge blessing. These girls are so blessed to have a righteous priesthood holder as their father. Ever since then, they have been much more comfortable and are getting used to being under the lights, thankfully so. We are going back tonight to see if they need to be under the lights another day. It has been hard, especially because it's a weekend and Tia and lots of family and friends want to hold them and are available. However, I am so grateful that they have these home systems and we didn't have to go leave them at the hospital, let alone the fact that they have treatment for this and can help our babies get better.

They are such a huge blessing in our lives; I don't know what we did to deserve two little angels. They bring such a sweet spirit into our home. I love everything about them and seriously can't get enough of them. Tia and I are trying to just soak up and cherish every moment. I knew I loved them when they were inside of me and I knew the discomfort and pain and everything I went through would be worth it, but I had no idea how much I would truly love them. It really is shocking to me how incredibly much I love them. I feel so blessed and they are one of the sweetest gifts from Heavenly Father we could ever receive.

Below are some pictures of the last couple days. I put the ones of them under the lights first because if your like me, they break your heart to look at them. Then I put some happy other ones up.

Avery & Adelyn under Bili Lights for Jaundice :(

Their eye masks they use for protection.

At the hospital with Aunts Jessie & Becky!

At the hospital with the Purcells!

At the hospital with cousins Landon & April!

All ready to go home!

Going home with Daddy.

At home with cousin Brigham (their hands came up at the same time)!

First visitors -- Aunt Barbara & Deborah!

Tumu, Ada, Mathias & family meeting the babies!

Feeling a lot better outside the body :)

I can't believe they were inside me! (*see below for before picture!)

The morning the day they were born.

At home with Grandma Cindy!

Relaxing in their car seats.

First bath with Aunt Chrissy!

At Purcells with Uncle Soli Jr. (his first time seeing them since birth)!

With Aunt Claire (also her first time seeing them)!

Mama & Papa Purcell sleeping with the twins!

Sleeping away in their bassinet!

Avery Lelei & Adelyn Eva Purcell

Details on birth and hospital stay coming soon...